My blood boil and my heart aches
I feel alone yet surrounded by many
A part of my fractured heart has given up on help coming.
I’ve become acquainted with showing friends and family a smile.
Yet my blood is boiling and keeps on boiling. I don’t know why maybe this is who I am. That the lie I tell myself.
I search this life for answers to cool down the hot magma that rises in me.
I’m afraid that one day, that lava will spill to those who live in the valley below. They praise me for the mountain that I am, for the soil and nutrients that I bring to their life’s and are blind to the dangers that I bring.
I am angry and don’t know why at times.
Maybe it’s the family dysfunction that causes the magma to swell up or the disappointment that tore my heart in times past.
Yes, the ocean is my hope.
You bring the wind to cool me down when I’m about to erupt. Your wind comforts my soul. Your water seeps into my entire being and restores me to a dormant state.
I yearn for the days when your high tide comes to my mountain shores. You bring the promise of hope and salvation, the village could not save me for they do not see nor know what lurks under the mountain.
The ocean is coming and the day has been set. For you promised to come to save me from all that I feel. Ocean you are vaster and greater than a single mountain you cover the earth and bring balance to what exists.
Lord my ocean I wait for you to save me.
From the pain l, the loneliness, and especially from my self. Teach me oh ocean to love myself. Like the peace exists in you the depth and with of love that you possess. Consume me for I desire to be one with you.