my voice was taken
my word silenced,
I had no say in the outcome.
my power gone.
this is the pain of the young
in the mist of divorce.
caught in a unusual situation
between two hard rocks.
The Call
The call is loud
The call is great
The call of a millions
The call of nations
Lost and afraid
Living aimlessly like sheep
No shepherd to be found.
Leaders to follow.
If you can hear the call?
It means that you were found
It means you have a shepherd
You have heard His voice.
You are now called to step up.
In all areas of life.
To share good tiding
To lead others into the light
Make disciples of every nation.
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36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were [j]weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. 37 Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. 38 Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.”
mommy
Mom don’t cry
Your once radiant smile is fading away.
It captured a 1000 hearts with a single glance.
Your heart had no end.
It’s was as wide as the galaxy itself.
Today as I look at your you.
The heavens don’t seem to contain your glory.
The smile is gone
That heart that once captured many is closed.
The galaxy that was endless is but shrinking.
How unnatural is this sight to watch.
How a little more hopeless is the world without your smile.
How cold as have we become without your loving heart.
Pain is the negative energy that consumes you.
The black hole within your being that swallows you.
All I can do to aid you recover is pray “our Father”
And share all the love I can give to you.
Fire fly
Fire fly you burn so bright at night
And you burn even brighter at my darkest night.
You’re so tiny and look so insignificant
Yet when you fly you are as beautiful as the moon and the stars.
My fire fly,
You flew were you were not wanted
You saw what you were not suppose to see.
Yet after seeing the darkest parts of me,
You stay and continue to choose to stay.
You became my morning star.
You will always be my little fire fly.
The one whom stole my heart away with a small but radiant light.
Little one
Little one, the last of us four.
I was the first before you came.
Before her I was the one whom all adored.
I never knew you would change my life.
I thought I had the world.
Daddies and mammies little boy.
How handsome I was they would say.
Whatever I asked for I got.
From the delicious sweets to the toys I wanted.
My 10 year old self was the prince.
But little did I know there was a coop coming.
I lost my place,
No longer did I feel special
All the attention gone
All my lovely yummy goodies gone
I was now stuck forever.
Stuck in the middle as the middle child.
I thought I lost my world
But I gained the universe
Each time you smiled joy leaped from within
Your laugh melted my heart away
When you cried, made me sad
Your pain hurt me as much as they did you.
You’re are now 15
You have come of age little one
Each day that goes by transformation is taking place.
From the princess you are now to the queen you will be.
Melting all the more hearts along the way.
I’m glade you were born
Nothing could ever much your worth
Even if the sweets were yummy and the toys fun
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my little sister Nkhensani asked of me to write a poem about her, I hope she likes it. I only have one sister she is the best sister and sometimes shes the most irritating sister when she hits my nerves
Blood Boils
My blood boil and my heart aches
I feel alone yet surrounded by many
A part of my fractured heart has given up on help coming.
I’ve become acquainted with showing friends and family a smile.
Yet my blood is boiling and keeps on boiling. I don’t know why maybe this is who I am. That the lie I tell myself.
I search this life for answers to cool down the hot magma that rises in me.
I’m afraid that one day, that lava will spill to those who live in the valley below. They praise me for the mountain that I am, for the soil and nutrients that I bring to their life’s and are blind to the dangers that I bring.
I am angry and don’t know why at times.
Maybe it’s the family dysfunction that causes the magma to swell up or the disappointment that tore my heart in times past.
Yes, the ocean is my hope.
You bring the wind to cool me down when I’m about to erupt. Your wind comforts my soul. Your water seeps into my entire being and restores me to a dormant state.
I yearn for the days when your high tide comes to my mountain shores. You bring the promise of hope and salvation, the village could not save me for they do not see nor know what lurks under the mountain.
The ocean is coming and the day has been set. For you promised to come to save me from all that I feel. Ocean you are vaster and greater than a single mountain you cover the earth and bring balance to what exists.
Lord my ocean I wait for you to save me.
From the pain l, the loneliness, and especially from my self. Teach me oh ocean to love myself. Like the peace exists in you the depth and with of love that you possess. Consume me for I desire to be one with you.
The trail of the ‘unfortunate Three’
This is a tail about three young people, by the names of Jessica, Collins and Nomsa. This Story speaks about three characters that have been through difficult ordeals in their lives. From whose life’s, we will learn life values as well as the importance of mercy and grace in a time in the world where we rarely see. As well as look into biblical concepts of what is a new start and how does it look like.
It all been an in a small town of Thohoyandou, were three young students by the names of Nomsa, Jessica and Collins, whom surprisingly attended the same primary school together. In the beginning of the school year 2016 there were big government people who made the lectures and principle quiver in their boats, it was unnatural for them to do so which got everyone’s hairs up. It was later explained to the students that the government people who were roaming the hall ways of campus where actually from the Department of Education. Tshedza Secondary School was under review to test its performance and how to better or help the students as well as to achieve their best performances. The sad truth was that although most of the students had great potential many of them come from tough backgrounds and family life at home was not as simple for them. Their home responsibility impacted their end results even though it was not from lack of trying. Over time The Department of Education assigned a local school counsellor to set up a test that would test the chances of a student’s likeliness to succeed in the future. So it was done.
Nomsa, Jessica and Collins were one of the students who wrote the assessment test. They got to discovery what matters most to them, where they see themselves in the future. These three students had great aspiration for their future. Nomsa, a brilliant student who scored top in her class, aspired to be an attorney to serve justice to those affected by criminal injustice. Jessica had a passion for art just like her assessment pointed it out. She loved singing with all her heart and soul. She loved literally anything to do with fashion and clothes and her long-time dream was to be a singer/actor/entertainer. Collins, a shy kid who prefers to spend a majority of his time in front of a good book or in his imagination. He secretly dreams of being a great writer, who will be in New York’s bestseller list.
Two years later had passed, and it was as if the Department of Education had never visited the humble school, Tshedza Secondary School. School facilities were improved and the school was left better off after the departments visit. Better yet a spark was lit under many of the young students whom only began to discover their life’s purpose. In the quiet, the embers of light still flicked in some students, three in particular by the names of Nomsa, Jessica and Collins. At this time they were in there final year.
Nomsa, still brilliant as ever was scoring the top of her class, doing well in class. In that year everything seemed to be going perfect. But home was a different problem: she was not as wealthy as many of her classmates, every day she would have to cook for her little nephews as well as do her own work. Her mother was a single mom and worked two jobs, just enough to pay the bills and take care of her children, she would often say to the kids “you are my purpose for being” with a big fat smile on her face.
Nomsa later that year manged to pass her matric very well and also got two distinctions, her mom just like many other moms was filled with joy. The following year letters came flooding in and it was from the different institutions that had accepted her to study law. She was happy and it seemed like the whole world was up for grabs. As they say “good news is seldom-ly followed by a cloud of bad news.” Her mom lost her second job and could not afford to pay for her university fees. As much as it pained her mom, she asked Nomsa if she could stay the year till everything was better. Her walls were crashed at that moment but she knew that her mom needed her. She held her chin up and wiped her tears off her cheeks. This seemed like the end for our little Nomsa.
Now Jessica our young art lover, on her matric year she had many hurdles she had to overcome. By this time she was a musician in her own right, even though she was still learning the game. She would save some of her allowance money and at times find ways to raise money in order to have enough to pay the studio to record some of the original songs she would write. Jessica was all about following her love for singing and anything linked to the entertainment industry. She would often say that “music is her plan A and there is no need for a plan B.” In her matric year just after writing finals, one decision she came to regret changed her life.
She was pregnant! On the news of that, there was a dismayed and heartbreak knowing the reality of her situation she would soon have to give up her love for music. She was now a young women without a plan. Luckily for her what played on her side was that she did well in her matric and with the support from her loving yet not totally understanding parents, the future was not lost for her. The future was no longer as certain as it was in the past, now it was just full of many twist and turns with no clear destination.
Collins being Collins, it seemed that the stars had already stacked the deck towards his favour. Although he was not the most vocal in the class or the best looking, he had a beautiful mind that would change the world one day in the future. Collins managed to do well for his matric and completed his university studies in journals and from there his future was bright as ever. Collins through the years of writing finally found out that what he needed most was what he lacked. He did not have confidence in his own work. He once attempted in writing a book that sat in his apartment on his bedroom drawer. No one has ever laid eyes on that book. Collins was what we call a closet writer. A young man full of unlimited potential kept hiding.
A decade had passed and all the school had was having a ten year reunion for the class of 1998. Many students had come from all around the country and a few who where working oversees. They all come to the small town in Venda named Thohoyandou, which was the home for many of the former students. This was a time to come together and celebrate their accomplishments, and others to show of their success. It came about that Nomsa, Collins and Jessica were all present at the Thsedza school reunion.
There were old high school clicks setting together and the first person their eyes zoomed too was to Jessica. She was known by most of the classes, the girl most likely to succeed because of her pregnancy in her final year. She was stunning and had on the white glamorous dress which was glittered when light caught its reflection. It was rumored by some that she was married to a rich man, but that wasn’t just it. Jessica’s story continued after that metric year.
She was at the bottom of a hole with no sight of a better future. She now had new responsibilities, with her pregnancy she was no longer as naive as she use to be, she could not fully follow the plan she had set for herself. Many of her music promised record signings disappeared when they had heard that she was pregnant. Jessica did not let that one set back keep her down, through her family support she managed to study a degree in sound engineering. During her studies as a hobby she released singles online all the while juggling being a single mother. She eventually got a noticed by Matevhu & Chila Records and was signed by them. They were the biggest music production company at the time. Jessica went on to make a name for herself in music and nothing could stop the dream and heart she had for music.
Nomsa was there on that day she had had a smile which brightened up the room. She was sitting in a corner having a conversation with her old friends from class. She told her story to her friends, she never had the best of circumstances like the rest of her classmates, at such a young age she had to take care of her cousins. She acted like a mom figure way before her time. Nomsa’s mom had lost one of her two jobs during her matric year and this meant that Nomsa would not be able to attend university that following year, despite her great marks. The following year after her matric year she would stay at home taking care of her cousins, but for Nomsa she had not lost faith, she would constantly apply for bursaries and learner-ships at different companies so that she would be able to go study criminal law at the University of her choice. Though many of her class mates have moved on, and also surpassed her she remained strong and kept on fighting for her own future. Nomsa would often say to herself more times than not, in moments where hope seemed bleak “Greater is He that is in me than he that isin the world.”
Nomsa managed to get the bursary that she was hoping for. Over time she became the successful lawyer she dreamed she would be. She was married and had two wonderful children who were the apples of her eyes. She was the happiest human being in that class reunion she would tell her friends. It’s the difficult times that shaped her to the women she is today, she said with a smile on her face.
Collins too was there at the reunion sitting in the corner of the room. He was not as shy as he used to be. He was a journalist for South African News Bulletin. He was accomplished as a writer. But because he never polished his writing skills in poetry, storytelling as well as writing fan fiction. So Collins dream never came to fruition, he only reached half of his purpose. Still a men living in his own mind, full of imagining and wonders. Collins had forgot the dream that he once closely held close to him. For some reason Collins was not living a fulfilling life. He managed to do well for himself. He was rich and had all the things money could buy him. There would always be that one thing that would never be able to point out that kept him wondering.
The story of the unfortunate three turned our well in the end. Fate was not on their side but through dedication and hard work they curved out a path for themselves. Even though not all achieved all that they intended too from the start. They came a long way in the journey they were walking. Life is never fair, but what you make of it is what matters. Dreams that we thought had died where revised, adverse circumstances that would have hindered many where conquered. These three stayed true to who they were and to the values that they had. In times when the world swallowed them and spit them out, they came to see grace and mercy in their life that purled them to their destiny.
Presence
Lord to see more of you and know you
Is my heart greatest dream.
You are the one think I thirst for.
The bread that I grieve above all bread.
I thirst for being one with you.
To know you as I know my being.
May it be known that I no longer three but four parts in you.
I have a body, a soul and a spirit
& now I have your Holy Spirit whom is God.
Abide in me and I will abide you.
Ever draw near to me and I will to you.
You neither forsake nor leave me.
You are ever present God.
Happy Travels
Life is a journey most enjoyed when life is lived.
Challenges and obstacles are the mountains along the journey.
The journey, grows you
Prepares you for the future.
The journey makes your wiser,
Stronger & better than your Yesterday.
Numb
I have become numb to feeling.
From the top of my head to the soles of my feet.
My eternal clock is on flight mode.
People live life yet it passes me by.
There are moments in the day
Where I capture joy.
Like the firefly’s in the night sky.
At times I’m numb to feeling.
Other times, my nerves bust with Joy.
Is the middle ground between both extremes?
Yes, where joy and life’s struggles collide.
Without struggle there will be no growth.
Without despair, we would not know what joy is.
There is no need to be numb to feeling.
That what life is, everything that surrounds us.
Take in and breathe the sweet aroma of life.
Let it move from the top of your head to the soles of your feet.
Express your deepest pains to your greatest joys
From your heartbreak to your greatest love.
The pain is fluting feeling and only last a moment.
But love is there to stay a lifetime.
