Mom don’t cry
Your once radiant smile is fading away.
It captured a 1000 hearts with a single glance.
Your heart had no end.
It’s was as wide as the galaxy itself.
Today as I look at your you.
The heavens don’t seem to contain your glory.
The smile is gone
That heart that once captured many is closed.
The galaxy that was endless is but shrinking.
How unnatural is this sight to watch.
How a little more hopeless is the world without your smile.
How cold as have we become without your loving heart.
Pain is the negative energy that consumes you.
The black hole within your being that swallows you.
All I can do to aid you recover is pray “our Father”
And share all the love I can give to you.
Fire fly you burn so bright at night
And you burn even brighter at my darkest night.
You’re so tiny and look so insignificant
Yet when you fly you are as beautiful as the moon and the stars.
My fire fly,
You flew were you were not wanted
You saw what you were not suppose to see.
Yet after seeing the darkest parts of me,
You stay and continue to choose to stay.
You became my morning star.
You will always be my little fire fly.
The one whom stole my heart away with a small but radiant light.
My blood boil and my heart aches
I feel alone yet surrounded by many
A part of my fractured heart has given up on help coming.
I’ve become acquainted with showing friends and family a smile.
Yet my blood is boiling and keeps on boiling. I don’t know why maybe this is who I am. That the lie I tell myself.
I search this life for answers to cool down the hot magma that rises in me.
I’m afraid that one day, that lava will spill to those who live in the valley below. They praise me for the mountain that I am, for the soil and nutrients that I bring to their life’s and are blind to the dangers that I bring.
I am angry and don’t know why at times.
Maybe it’s the family dysfunction that causes the magma to swell up or the disappointment that tore my heart in times past.
Yes, the ocean is my hope.
You bring the wind to cool me down when I’m about to erupt. Your wind comforts my soul. Your water seeps into my entire being and restores me to a dormant state.
I yearn for the days when your high tide comes to my mountain shores. You bring the promise of hope and salvation, the village could not save me for they do not see nor know what lurks under the mountain.
The ocean is coming and the day has been set. For you promised to come to save me from all that I feel. Ocean you are vaster and greater than a single mountain you cover the earth and bring balance to what exists.
Lord my ocean I wait for you to save me.
From the pain l, the loneliness, and especially from my self. Teach me oh ocean to love myself. Like the peace exists in you the depth and with of love that you possess. Consume me for I desire to be one with you.
Lord to see more of you and know you
Is my heart greatest dream.
You are the one think I thirst for.
The bread that I grieve above all bread.
I thirst for being one with you.
To know you as I know my being.
May it be known that I no longer three but four parts in you.
I have a body, a soul and a spirit
& now I have your Holy Spirit whom is God.
Abide in me and I will abide you.
Ever draw near to me and I will to you.
You neither forsake nor leave me.
You are ever present God.
I’m fighting a war, this war does not take place on a ordinary battle-field. But in another plain. The heart. I war with the questions of, what is love? And exploring the edges or the difference between words like infatuation, lust and love. As if I am walking on the edge of a blade and as I get to find my answers its feels like I ever closer for falling on my own sword. There are those who dwell in the world, whom fear love, others see it as a weakness and a few see it as a strength. For me, I realized that it is Love that makes us human. And without it, we have no humanity but become like the beasts that walk the earth, lost and alone without love.
I have no words to define, how you make me feel, Could it be love? Love sparked in the few seconds when my eyes met yours. Like the warmth of a burning furnace. The warmth of your smile, sets me on fire. I have not yet felt love or known it, in my youth. But I wonder if I have found love, in you. Love being more than just a feeling. But Something that transcend the heavens it selves. A few stars ever get to find there soulmate. But some remain forever star-crossed. Here on earth you are the sun in the heavens. I pray hat one day the sun, will ever loves me. Because you the sun is also a star, my star. And you center me.
The one I loved.
or thought I loved.
Never loved me the way
I expected to be loved.
Missing the mark to my heart
And I hers. Destiny fated against us.
As we slowly fade away, like mist over a lake.
Our hearts wishing if maybe it was a different season
or maybe a few days ago. we would align, like
the Orion constellation in perfect harmony.
This is my heart ache.
I will mourning us for the day
but tomorrow I move on.
Knock knock knock!
Sin knocks at my door
Asking to enter
With each knock I’m tempted to open the door
Don’t know how much longer
I can hang on.
So tempted promising pleasure
To satisfy my need to be loved.
To fill the whole church could not fill.
To fulfill my every need.
The sense of just being in peace.
Trust me, it can deliver.
Lust is my craving
My body craves it like a drug
That promises to give a high,
That will make everything okay.
My being thrown in to the storm
My spirit fights me.
Trying to safe my life.
The underdog that victory
Looks far from reality
In the end I am only human.
Who am I?
Fighting a fight that can’t be won.
Sin is my weakness
Sin is trying to sell me American dream.
I hear a quiet voice saying
Sin can be conquered.
It may look impossible
But it’s possible.
One men won it war for all men
So I can stand in victory
Sin nailed to the cross too never resurrect.
Jesus proved it and lived it.
Satan the is the liar promising
A short moment of fame
But destroy your happily forever ever.
Jesus is the answer
He is the church
Enter into His body
Eat and Remember who He is
“I am the Church
Ready to save you at a moment’s notice.”
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